…on how things came to This.
A year ago, on July 10, 2020, I laid in the ER as a medical student stitched up a gash on my head and all I could think of was… isn’t this just beautiful? I felt as if I had been cast into a soap opera hospital room because the doctor was handsome and the nurses were pure compassion and the too-young-and-beautiful-to-already-have-finished-med-school young woman who was pushing a needle through my skin was wearing scrubs that still held the creases of being freshly ironed. Sigh… it was lovely. Yes, there was pain. The bite of the lidocaine shot was brief and allowed me to feel, then, every muscle as they began to stiffen. The ache that was reaching those extremities had begun at the top of my head and was only punctuated by the sting of the abrasions that ran down my right side. The only sound in the room was an “uh-oh” by that stitching student and my laughter as I giggled at my own jokes. I felt the pain, but there was no suffering.
As far as I was concerned, things were looking up — even though the evening had started with me face down on a neighborhood sidewalk. I simply tripped over my own feet as I walked to meet friends at a neighborhood restaurant. How it happened is as far from interesting as stories get. The changes in me, however, continue to unfold in a manner that continues to astound me.
Yes… I had a concussion… but I had never felt clearer. For a few hours, I got to experience what life was like without the anxiety that I had carried like a low-grade fever for as long as I could remember. Gone was the overthinking and second-guessing. I slept when I was tired. I ate when I was hungry. I allowed myself to rest and feel the feelings. Even though I was a complete mess, I felt at peace, because I finally began applying my design advice to the building of my own life.
As a designer known for transforming spaces, I truly believe there is magic in the mess. The pile of shoes by the door is indicative of an active family and tells me that changes need to be made in storage or traffic flow. The rubble from a wall torn down opens up a view that I could only explain until then with words. The chaos of all of the possibilities swirling around is actually the energy of change. It’s the hope that opening a room or your heart is the right step, even though things will look worse before they get better — like a black eye.
There was beauty, even in the ugliest of moments. There was potential, everywhere, if I was open to it. I am humbled by the faith my clients have in me… and it took a face down moment for me to truly have faith in myself. Don’t get me wrong… I am confident in my skills and ability to imagine what’s possible but as a business, it felt rather messy. My success defied what I had learned in business school. I have functioned, for 20 years, with no business plan, no mission statement and no identifiable goals.
You could say that’s when it hit me. It was time to invest in myself. I decided to give myself a year… I planted a seed with a friend who was a realtor… if the right property came along, let me know. Within weeks, he was aware of the perfect space and we secured it before it was even listed. The projects that had been slowed by the pandemic began to quickly take shape. The chaos became the order of the day as my business plan was simply taking care of my own unfinished business as I began creating the space to house my own creativity.
Today, a year after I had my stitches removed, I am launching my website — created by InVisible Studios — a dynamic team of young women who took the mess of my website
attempts and made this possible. They took amazing photos of my studio, work process and Alana, my indispensable “chaos coordinator”, as well as the shot you see here, of me. On the day of my photo shoot, I purposely grabbed a mug that I bought in the weeks following my fall. Shown in the photo, here, it looks like a classic blue delft design but upon closer inspection, the scene is made up of monsters, robots, fire breathing dragons and a spaceship zapping the earth. From a company appropriately named Calamityware, it is the perfect symbol of my belief that beauty can be found in anything if you’re willing to look.
Thank you for being here. This website is foundational in that unfinished business plan. In the coming months it will become the container for showcasing artists, instruction, inspiration, and unique shopping events. To stay up to date on projects and events, follow me on Facebook (DianaBe) or Instagram (@dianabe_this). To inquire about my offerings or a project, please fill out the contact form, here, on the website! (I’ve waited so long to say that!!)
